Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize