Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize