She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
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I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
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I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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