problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize