Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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