Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year

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  (847): my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year http://tfl.nu/4eng
  Replies (4) Good night (850) Bad night (2026) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.

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  (323): Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering. http://tfl.nu/bd5j
  Replies (31) Good night (700) Bad night (3576) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how

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  (651): Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how http://tfl.nu/5k4d
  Replies (43) Good night (1189) Bad night (4053) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.

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  (440): Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan. http://tfl.nu/6sdz
  Replies (8) Good night (3347) Bad night (654)
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  (818): View more from California

  So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice

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  (818): So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice http://tfl.nu/dh5p
  Replies (94) Good night (8836) Bad night (702)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap

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  (845): Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap http://tfl.nu/797p
  Replies (19) Good night (718) Bad night (3767) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.

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  (204): He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina. http://tfl.nu/1ygc
  Replies (30) Good night (5661) Bad night (1675) Order T-Shirt
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.

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  (620): He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time. http://tfl.nu/dyz5
  Replies (20) Good night (4886) Bad night (1409) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  You took a bar mat shot.

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  (772): You took a bar mat shot. http://tfl.nu/02d5
  Replies (11) Good night (705) Bad night (2582) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener

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  (570): My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener http://tfl.nu/73wy
  Replies (8) Good night (1851) Bad night (1450) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying

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  (717): best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying http://tfl.nu/r0td
  Replies (15) Good night (584) Bad night (2011) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover

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  (478): You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover http://tfl.nu/1qw9
  Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly

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  (760): Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly http://tfl.nu/j8y5
  Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (270)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.

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  (+44): When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits. http://tfl.nu/jw7g
  Replies (3) Good night (297) Bad night (1016)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My vag is like the Sahara

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ew that's gross.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  The sad truth. Barren and empty.

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  (267): My vag is like the Sahara (215): Ew that's gross. (267): The sad truth. Barren and empty. http://tfl.nu/3klg
  Replies (8) Good night (164) Bad night (585)

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