they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
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Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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