Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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