yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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