Just fell off a train. Bad.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize