I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize