I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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