The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
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No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
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well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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