I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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