Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize