I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think im in europe. pls send help
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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