how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
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I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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