Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize