went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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