It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize