I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im having a threesome with these popsicles
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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