I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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