So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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