my being single is dangerous.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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