You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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