Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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