Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
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