Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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