I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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