The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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