i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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