I'm so fucking centered right now
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
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He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize