Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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