1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize