i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
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If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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