you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize