he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize