Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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