oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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