Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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