im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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