waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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