Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize