she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize