I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
literally had 100 drinks last night.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
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They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
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he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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