we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize