I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize