we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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