If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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