If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
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So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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